What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
12.06.2025 01:06
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She loved him until the end.
Show 1433: What Are the Hidden Dangers in the Air We Breathe? - The People's Pharmacy
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I don,t even have a pension.
The comments from Jamie Dimon last week are worth repeating - Forexlive
Was to survive, this bastard.
I said to her
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Horoscope for Sunday, June 08, 2025 - Chicago Sun-Times
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
‘Strawberry Moon’ June 2025: See The Lowest Full Moon Since 2006 - Forbes
All the time i was locked up.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Live Updates: FSU 5, Miss. St. 2 -- FINAL - 247Sports
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Are evolutionists giving evolution a bad name by claiming humans started off as shrews?
My family never makes their pension either.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Tahini Is The High Protein Food You Can Eat Every Day—With Almost Everything - Vogue
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
In Dan Muse, Penguins pick coach with uncommon resume, knack for development - TribLIVE.com
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Sloths The Size of Elephants Roamed America, Before Abruptly Vanishing - ScienceAlert
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I write beautiful poetry .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Exclusive: Clean energy investment hits new highs and shows no sign of slowing - TechCrunch
Who then, do I blame.?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But, we were locked up after school.
What would have happened if Shin was a good movie instead of a bad one?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She wouldn,t have been !
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
What are some funny and smart quotes?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
She was in good health!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He knew the spot.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But ive been too sick for many years..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My life is so biszare .
So, i spoilt her more .
Comes on , in middle age.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And i lived it daily.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Put me off passion for life!!
She married twice! .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was scared of men, in general
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I will be 64.
We all went to grammer schools
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im still living with it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I waited trembling.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I have no regrets .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I was seconnd youngest,
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Would this be the day?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
One cannot live in the past .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
What did i know ?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
So whats the point in blame.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
As i do to all so called friends.?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
It was going to be , some day.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
This is soul school!.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Especially a lifetime of it.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
We were not on the streets..
I never cut or harmed myself..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Why did i forgive my father ?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He resisted the act ,that day.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I was 9 years of age.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
(And it was in our own minds.)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But it wasn’t much.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I think the readers, may guess!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
When she asked me how she looked .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She found it foreign!.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Ive learnt so much.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I couldn’t, believe it.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I was very sick at this time too.