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What are the best Jewish jokes?

09.06.2025 10:50

What are the best Jewish jokes?

So a priests starts the confession and the man in the booth says “Father, I wanted to tell you, I’m 65 years old and last night, at the bar, I met two beautiful young 21 year old college girls. We talked a bit, drank a bit and one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place where the three of us stayed up all night drinking and having wild, uninhibited sex. “

So the priest says:” Well if you’re not Catholic, why are you in here telling me all this?”

the man replies: “Oh, I’ve never been to confession, I’m actually Jewish.”

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

And the priest thinks for a minute and then says:”Hmm, this is very serious my son, and there are a number of grave sins involved, so I’m not quite sure where to start. But let’s go with the basics: How long has it been since your last confession?”

And the man says : “Are you kidding me? I’m telling everyone.”

I’m not sure if this one qualifies but I’ll tell it anyway.

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